An Open Letter to a Career Commencing Self

Hey, you little career go-getter you, let's have a chat. 

Pull up a seat and listen up. 

First of all, drop that entitled attitude. Listen to this song by The 88 and note the lyrics, infact listen to it on repeat until the lyrics "No body cares what you've through, and no body cares how much you do" become engrained. 

You got it? 

Good, because let's be real here. You are a nuisance in the workplace. You don't have the skills and experience to deserve that attitude and umpteen people are going to have to carry you aswell continue on with a day job. 

Now, you see those woman in management? Don't saunter up to them with your prissy attitude and blind enthusiasm gushing over some frivolous bull. Have some fucking respect for them. They have been through one hell of a journey and laid the path ahead for you. You think you have it hard?! You have no clue. 

Want to be valuable? You are going to need to up your experience, and no, I don't mean get old. Say yes. Say yes to every opportunity that presents itself which will challenge and destabilise you.  Then, dedicate. Come up with lists, prioritise deliverables, find initiative and raise your hand to go above and beyond that which is expected of you - but also complete your day job. 

The rumour mill will always turn, and sometimes, okay a lot of times, you will be at the centre of it all. Grow some thick skin, walk with purpose and prove yourself by delivering greatness. 

And please whatever you do, don't: call the police on your colleague // mutter the words I don't actually care // wear 6inch heels, your back will thank you later // take office stress with you to the climbing wall as you belay your nemesis // plaster your desk in Kate Spade accessories // wear bodycon on a friday because it saves a change before you go out later //  think Talisker on a monday night is a good idea // get into a managers car while hungover and soil their Golf's backseat footwell with last nights Talisker, and then not tell them about it // steal some guys award from some event, turns out a decade on you'll end up ducking through corridors to avoid him // tell people about the questionable domains you buy and flip, they will search for them and disciplinaries will happen // use paintballing as an excuse to shoot a colleague in the head //wear those expensive handbags gifted by designers, your salary probably won't increase with a 2.55 Chanel on your arm // 

You'll make mistakes, actually, I know for a fact that you'll make a lot, so just be sure to learn something from them. 

Here are a few terrible moments to help make you cringe...