Checking out to check in again
It has been a while since my last posting. In a way you could describe my lack of posts as a means of checking out for a bit in order to check back in.
Earlier in the year I struggled to maintain that enthusiasm to be the Patricia everyone wanted. My photography continued with clients but that grip on creative endeavours begun to slip. My previous office job was becoming more and more tedious, I had achieved everything that I needed to and the work was transforming to a part of the industry I fail to enjoy. Another fantastic opportunity came up, instead a move, a positive move to something challenging. I go to work enthusiastic (after a few shots of caffeine) which is something I found had been taken away from me by emotionally unstable and demanding humans previously.
In terms of images I'm turning that around with dedicated time spent with cameras in hand. I'm busy with clients and there are some fantastic opportunities ahead on the cards. There are some great and inspiring people who have blessed me with their help and skill. Moving ahead just feels like one positive step after another, albeit small steps.
Getting back on track with my health has been difficult. I moved back home with Andrew to my parents home, I've since gained 2kgs in weight from poor diet choices, which scares me as I've worked so hard the last year to beat heart disease and a few weeks of home cooking and I know my arteries are going to start clogging again. It's hard to get support from a family so widely spread with altruism and who support every other misfit and stray out there, that we forget about one another. Our problems are never that in comparison to the people we give our energy to, to the people we drag out of the mud and help heal their wounds, I've found myself trying to fill the space my father leaves when really I just want to let my guard down and be vulnerable.
Maybe I'm becoming more selfish, I hope so. Selfishness will be a great steer back on track to the honesty of my writing within these pages.
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