Oh my gosh, I’ve seen anger out of control so many times. Time and time again with friends and family I have witnessed the internal destruction of people who just can’t handle their anger.
Amongst many examples, I used to go to the gym a lot with a then friend at the time. My god she would take her anger out in the pool and on the machines, fitness levels were great, but as things unravelled in her life not only did she take it out in the confined spaces of the gym, but also on those around her. You know when you reevaluate the people you surround yourself with? Well when it became too emotionally draining to be in that situation, I had to just give up. Now I’ve been enjoying exercise more than ever and am feeling great. I have too many examples of situations where people have let things build up, or just not managed their frustrations. My fuse is short, and as a result of that, I've had to find ways of remaining calm when I'd much rather be fuelling situations with my anger and aggression.
If you have anger issues, just remember that:
-You’re allowed to have feelings, just take a breather before it becomes destructive
-Avoid becoming destructive: I have seen so many times, adults in supermarkets getting so angry at their children. You don't want everything to build up to the point that you end up physically beating your child in the grocery isle.
-Take it out productively: Urgh, so many times I tell people that I’m leaving this situation, I will not deal with people who are having screaming fights. The other week when I found out about a stolen image, I went climbing and had it out on the wall. I ripped that wall apart and you know what, afterwards, I had rationalised the situation and I was over it. While on a farm in the middle of knowwhere in Africa with way too many guns and family in a situation, my buttons were pushed and my mother looked at me and pointed to the door “you’ve got 8 miles to the river that way, and the mountains the other way, pick a direction and walk.”
-Come up with a solution: Andy and I before getting together, had utter fury for one another. There were times when I could have murdered him, and I have no doubt that it was also vice versa. He would sit me down and we would rationalise the situation, what can we do to handle this anger, in the end we concurred that the solution was to give in and just be together, but without that rationalisation of anger we wouldn’t have come to a solution and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now.
-I say all of the above, and I do work on my anger, because jeese I am reactive. When the above doesn’t work, I have my trusty little black book “People I want to punch in the face” and I write out why I’m pissed about them, then I write what I can do for me. This year I reckon I’ll document it, and then at the end of the year, I might just publish it. Haven’t decided yet.
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