Papayas

After forcing myself into a Yin Nidra induced sleep, I woke once during the night, forced myself back into a state of sleep, then fell into a few hours of deep dreaming. The kind of dreaming whereby you’re awake through the night, engaged in a very real dream. Telling a client about it later that day I described it as a hybrid mish of Netflix binging on Bird Cage and Murder Mountain – and of course this zombie horror dream commenced in the depths of a toddlers birthday party, as all terrible horror stories do.

Anyway, the alarm woke me mid heist. I could hear the ringing in the other room but it was distant. Eventually I gave in, stumbling across the hall and into the bathroom where my phone lay. I changed into alpine green suit peg legs and a white silk blend trapeze long arm blouse. My green tourmaline cocktail ring matches exact. I layer my jewelry and head downstairs to make coffees. The pups look up from their beds, unaccustomed to such noise at this hour. I let them out into the garden while the V60s extract store bought coffee granules.

We have some breakfast, coffee, watch the news. I don’t want to end my break yet, it’s been such bliss having the extra time, especially to be outdoors.

Ultimately I have to, otherwise traffic will be silly.

As I drive, I keep cruise control on at two miles under the speed limit, this way my tank lasts about 800miles. It’s a test of patience and acceptance, and knowing that through not over revving – speeding – I know that the car is using less fuel and reducing emissions. At this speed it seems noticeable that other cars are also relatively slow. I hypothesise whether it is associated with month 9 of the financial year and the fact that many commuters may be down to 22p per mile after exceeding the threshold. I exceeded mine already in August, only five months into the year.

Arriving at a client office I catch up with familiar faces.

I log in and start working through my lists, while it’s a new calendar year I’m very aware that we’re on the hardest run up now – the last quarter of the financial year. There is a lot to be done with respect to accounts. So I do that for a few hours. Then I do a bit of calling around the project teams on my list of schemes, updating, scheduling progress meetings, prepping for regulator presentations.

An old client and wonderful friend pops by and we’re elated to see one another. His side hustle is house building and he’s an utter gem. We talk about my next steps professionally, there’s a vacancy in their team with my name on it. I would love to deliver work for them, I really would. The work is mainly with third parties and it’s fantastic. I have a lot to think through but right now I can’t part with my current projects – they are ones which appear once every five to ten years. Our mutual friend is battling cancer, he provides an update and we take a somber moment.

I check my calendars and set up to do lists and block out planned leave. So far 20/52 weekends are booked up. I make a note to contact our families about booking weekends away.

Before I know it the sky is dark, I’ve achieved only 2,000 steps yet my body is tired and exhausted.

Driving home the roads are quiet. I ask Siri to shuffle through different songs but nothing really grips me. Instead I turn to the evening news. Home I arrive to a quick dinner Andrew has cooked up – of course it’s fantastic. He talks briefly about bathroom design. I feel disjunct and not really sure of what is being asked. My head is in a different space and I’m tired already of decisions through the day. I sketch up revised bathroom plans after the penny drops. He changes and heads out running with our buddy. I close my laptop and start a yoga flow with the pups at my side.

After an intense core flow I curl up with Aura cuddled in, I scroll through news and much about nothing on my phone then shower.

When Andrew arrives home we talk in the way that all cohabiters talk – about food and shopping. I start an online grocery shop. Then we finish it together. He jumps from department to department, asking me if I’ve put in this and that without checking the basket. I get frustrated. This is all so dull and I hate shopping. We look at the total cost and see what we can do without, he relinquishes powered granules of sloppy watery so called soup and I swap my multiple papayas, for a multipack of papayas. We hit the checkout, put the laptop away and have a catchup without life’s distractions. It all becomes far easier when there’s just love and honest communication.

Patricia SnookComment