Passed out on the Floor

We agree to meet for 8am breakfast the next day. I sleep in until about seven am. 

Breakfast is nice, they make a vegetarian spread for me and I load up on fruit. Cici leaves us for ten minutes to nip to the loo and we end up in a fascinating religious existential conversation with the owner. The conversation evolves into religion and the premise of one chosen race and instead of engaging we thank the staff for breakfast and leave abruptly. I probably don’t drink enough coffee that day because I can’t quite figure out which way is up. 

The whole cell network is down and our family call the hotel to say that they’ll pop by at 9am. After breakfast we nip to the room to freshen up. My mothers cousin and his wife arrive, they are lovely and he looks like a Helberg. Everyone is so happy to see one another, they talk and laugh and talk. It’s surreal. The have old family bibles containing fascinating history which they share with us. My mother is thrilled. We sip coffee and as the hours merge into lunch we order flatbreads to share. Their granddaughter calls, she’s staying with them while at a fantastic school in town. My mothers cousin leaves to pick her up. She too looks like a Helberg at just seventeen years old. She’s such a clever kid and I wish her all the best in life. 

We chat for a few hours then stand for family photographs. Chappy sends us a message and I reply that we’re free whenever he is. An hour later he arrives with his son. My teenage third cousin attends school with Chappy’s son, a fantastic photographer who we found on insta the night before. 

He’s gorgeous and also shares typical Snook features - they eyes and nose in particular. We hug a hello and try to figure out if the teenagers are related, no, but share Cici and I as a mutual connection. Their mutual relative was a champion female golfer and expert business woman. We also discover that she was the first person to instigate a multi racial golf competition many years ago. Her family invested in the golf course and clubhouse and apparently she has quite a few trophies in her name. So Dad and Chappy jump in his car and I drive the kids in mine. After a few different stops around the town to pay homage to the old garage we arrive at the course. We get out and order a round of beers. 

They are so interesting and we chat happily before heading back to their house to meet the rest of our family. We do so and sip some wine together. Chappy then advises that he’ll meet us for dinner but will come armed with wine. 

So Cici Dad and I leave for the lodge, I abandon the car on a lane around the lodge. We meet mum and Gramps at the restaurant and Chappy shortly arrives with a bottle of red and two delicious white wines - what a gent! Conversation does not stop. We are all so happy and so engaged, we talk about business opportunities and travel, and the economy and mountain biking. 

The wine flows and conversation continues. 

We bid our farewells. Cici escorts me to the lodge. 

I then start a yin yoga sequence and fall asleep fully clothed in Childs pose on the cold tiled floor. Cici listens to me snoring and switches off the lights and goes to bed leaving me unconscious on the floor. 

About an hour later I wake shivering on the cold hard floor. Cici describes my following action akin to one of those fortune telling fish that falls out of a cracker.

She asks what I’m still doing on the floor and I shout “no I’m not” I then launch myself fully clothed horizontally across the bed. I then wake to a nose bleed and realise I’m still in my jewellery and clothes ontop of the bed shivering. So I fumble around trying to utilise a combination lock on the suitcase. She photographs this degenerate behaviour and later communicates the series of events to my husband and they agree “Standard Trish.” Once in the suitcase I find my thermal leggings and change in the bathroom, my tongue is furry and so I brush it with the Phillips Ultra Sonic Diamond Clean electric device. Except, my consciousness has reduced considerably and I end up using Cici’s brush head, which she is still very sensitive about. I make a note to order an apology bouquet of Bloom and Wild upon return home. 

I crawl into bed and try to sleep with the electric blanket set to high. My jaw feels achy, I blame it on Bruxism but it’s probably got more to do with the cold floor I passed out on in Childs Pose.